I always thought I had many years before I had to worry about mammograms, self-checks, and anything cancer related. In fact the week before I was diagnosed I was having a conversation with my mum about how lucky our family was to not be affected by cancer at all.
I was only 38. I have 3 beautiful sons, and my youngest was only 20 months. I randomly felt a lump in my left breast and I think I knew instinctively that it was not going to be good news. Within two days I’d had a mammogram and an ultrasound, and I am so very grateful that my GP felt my urgency and organised everything for me. After a week I got the devastating news that it was definitely cancer and unfortunately it had spread to my lymph nodes in my arm pit.
Over the next 6 months I had my chemotherapy, I then opted for a mastectomy, finishing up with radiation. After 10 months I was finished formal treatment and started 5 years of tablets to maintain my remission.
Early into my treatment a good friend sent to me a little piece of paper with a quote that spoke to my soul. My friend was sending me ‘quiet courage’ ….
I was already mustering my courage, but this was encouraging me to slow down, to rest when I needed and use the quiet times to gather my strength. I didn’t need to be busy to be winning at life. It was refreshing when everyone just felt that cancer was a battle that needed to be fought and won. It was exhausting always feeling like I had to be on the offensive at all times, and somehow feeling like a failure if I ever took a day off from the fight!
Your treatment is a marathon, not a sprint. It’s a physically taxing time, but it can also be a time of great self-reflection. This period of self discovery will continue on long after your treatment is finished, and for me this, along with creating Soul Sisters Unite, is how I have turned my own negative experience into a positive.
Sending Quiet Courage to all those who need it right now. May you all go on your own journey of self-discovery and find your own little victories along the way.
Nicky xxx